Instead of 3 or 4 posts, which I planned on doing today, I'll just do one. La de la.
First off, the red carpet coverage EVERYWHERE needs to be revamped. E!'s decision to have Ryan Seacrest in his own little room with celebs casually "dropping by" (and not there to promote ANYTHING AT ALL - note sarcasm) was retarded. ABC's official preshow showed about 10 people. Too many clips. Save the acting clips for the show. Seeing Felicity rooted on by her DH costars was great - even though they were in different rooms. Here's what you need: shorter interviews with celebs. Get the dress, your date, who you want to see and leave it at that. Stop it with all the "deep acting" questions. Get more overhead shots and pans of the carpet. I know you only want to show people you're interviewing, but it seemed like this year the majority of women we didn't actually see till the ceremony started.
On to the show...
Stewart did a great job. Lots of funny jokes - the best: Bjork getting shot by Cheney. Perfect. And the upcoming montage of montages. I thought I heard that before though. Loved the opening shot of all the images put together - Satine was on there. Steve Martin's kids. LMAO. Meryl Streep & Lily Tomlin should host an award show together. Jack Nicholson's "oh shit" look when Crash won - priceless. He said backstage he was shocked - he voted for Brokeback. As he should, starring in Terms of Endearment and all. In the Deep's song was like watching a zombie version of Crash. Somehow it seemed better. Taraji Henson from Hustle and Flow can sing. Dolly's fucked up version of the Transamerica song was disappointing. Westerns are gay, after all. Suck it all you so-called purists who think guys need to shoot each other at high noon for it to be a western. And my favorite bit of the night:
The Actress campaign.
Oh my god, I fucking live for that. God dust. Forever embedded in my vocabulary. That all but makes for the rest of it....
It's embarassing.
The whole thing.
The show went off without a hitch. Predictable winners - Reese and Philip finally looked decent and gave real speeches. Sorry, Reese said "real" too much though. The show was funny and felt grander than the other award shows. George gave a speech about Hollywood leading the way, a speech I'm sure he wouldn't have given had he seen the final award handed out. Like the worst films, the Oscars were good, then just sucked. It was a good show. We wanted surprises. We got them - one that no one will ever live down.
It's embarassing for people who follow this stuff. What good are precursors? I can't imagine how hard all the other major awards bodies must be laughing right now.
It's embarassing for fans of Brokeback Mountain, who now have to look at the rightwingers glow and piss the loss back in their face. The fans who have sat by all year with modest expectations and watched the film overcome everything to become a genuine phenomenon. It's like being served a delicious meal by a world famous chef. The maid then comes out and tells you "oh fuck you, you can't have dessert."
It's embarassing for the Oscars. In a political year when one film's buzz trumped everything and they finally had the chance to award the most acclaimed film of the year - the critical gem, they didn't.
It's even embarassing for Miramax when it was run by the Weinsteins. This was surely the most aggressive campaign fought - sending out over 100k screeners to members of various guilds. Say what you will about Lions Gate - okay, they make low budget shit movies then market them to morons who shell over $9 to see Diary of a Mad Black Woman, Saw 2 and Hostel - but they apparently knew what they were doing.
But here's who it's most embarassing for...
Crash and its fans.
Crash, a solid good - sometimes really good - film that is no where near a Best Picture winner in feel, suddenly is Best Picture winner based on, what?, 2-3 weeks of ascending buzz that was based solely in LA and Roger Ebert's head. No Best Picture winner has ever won so little awards outside of the Oscars. The film is the first Best Picture winner to win only 3 total Oscars since Rocky. Take into consideration that Rocky went up against Network, Taxi Driver and All the President's Men. Deja vu, in some respects. Isn't that interesting? The fans of Crash who have stood by it while tanked in early award shows got their hopes enlivened by its prescense in most of the major guilds. But it only won the SAG Ensemble and WGA Original Screenplay awards. That's it. Nothing more. Now, they will have to live with the fact that the film they so loved has gotten the most reputation as "The Worst Best Picture Winner In History." almost instantly. The lowest winner grossing in, like, 20 or so years. Did anyone even think when the film was released back in May that it could do this? No.
It's embarassing.
Anatomy of an Upset -
I'm going to direct you to two links that fully explain how Crash won. This is a controversial assessment, but one that is ringing all over the place. Go here and here. It wasn't that this is an actor's film. Why did it get more than one acting nomination? Actors films don't just get one nomination. It could be that it was set in LA and that more so than any other group, AMPAS largest percentage of voters reside in LA. But really - how narrow minded is that? Do they love Paul Haggis that much? He's Canadian? That's still closer than Taiwan isn't it? While I don't believe the reason presented in those two articles could be the leading factor in this upset - I, at least, hope not - it is part of it. You can't deny that.
Hollywood is filled with liberals like Clooney and Ben Affleck who talk the talk but don't really walk the walk. Then, you have the slightly famed liberals - Laura Linney, for instance - who do. She not only criticizes the right, but marches in gay pride parades despite not being a lesbian. How's that! I believe the term coined for the people who allowed for this upset are "limo liberals." They are there more as self promotion and to pat themselves on the back.
But, let's face it...
It is a fashion show with some bowling trophies. :-)
To that, I present my 10 Best Dressed for the 78th Academy Awards.
Worst Dressed:
Oscar-nominee NAOMI WATTS
I don't know what's going on here. She normally looks great.
Mixed Decision:
Oscar-winner CHARLIZE THERON
I think that bow wants to eat her head. Or she brought her Oscar with her in there. The hair seemed really bad at first but now not so much. This outfit goes from being so campy bad, it's just downright awesome.
Best Dressed....
#10 - SANDRA BULLOCK
It turns out she's not angry all the time, and now we know why.
#9 - Oscar-winner NICOLE KIDMAN
Simple hair, could've done more with the hair. But she's great.
#8 - Oscar-nominee JAKE GYLLENHAAL
Someday I will have a mock prom, and he shall be my date. As if you thought he wasn't going to be here.
#7 - JESSICA ALBA
I wasn't as crazy about this as some, but she looks great. I'd like to see her with different hair, though. I preferred her Golden Globes look.
#6 - Oscar-nominee AMY ADAMS
The pockets strike back. Sandra and Jake's sis had them. I love Amy's dress. It's very original.
#5 - JENNIFER LOPEZ
She has looked fucking awesome in the past - I believe the 1999 Oscars with the black dress. Looks great here, too.
#4 - Oscar-winner HILARY SWANK
Va va voom. Damn, she works that black dress. Proof of why that blue dress from last year was SOOO wrong for her. Awesome hair.
#3 - Oscar-nominee MICHELLE WILLIAMS
Hated it for a second, then loved it to pieces. Very 1970's. Bright and beautiful.
Here's Amy & Michelle - so cute:
A very close call between #2 & #1
#2 - Oscar-nominee SALMA HAYEK
She really knows what to do with those jugs. DAMN! Love the classic look, though.
#1 - Oscar-nominee KEIRA KNIGHTLEY
Fun fact: She changed for the afterparty. This year was relatively boring when it came to fashion, but I just adore Keira's look here. Her fast-witted personality comes through. God dust, indeed. And sitting next to Jack.
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