How to Throw an Oscar Party - by an Expert (ME!)

This will be the fourth Oscar bash I've thrown/co-hosted. Its a bit late to be posting, but hopefully my friends and blog readers will get a kick out of my party and some of the ideas. Save em for next year folks!

The party runs about 6 hours so lots of food and drink is a must. Your party should start 2 hours before ABC's presentation when the main red carpet coverage on E! and TV Guide Channel starts. Most of these stations run things all day, but no celebrities really show up until about 15 - 20 minutes into their preshow (6PM for east coast!) ABC does their own coverage half an hour before the start of the actual ceremony (8:30PM) They have that assclown Billy Bush hosting, and E! has that superblimp Star Jones-Reynolds so making fun of them is a must. Joan and Melissa do the whole self-mocking thing, though I do actually like Melissa. She's fun. Anyways, the preshow is when to eat and drink and play some games. Go over who everyone is rooting for and perhaps who will be off limits to make fun of. Kidman isn't there this year, so anyone is fair game I suppose. Here's what I'm serving during this year's preshow bash:

+Pinot Noir & Merlot for Sideways. "I am not drinking any fucking Merlot!" Hehe. Throw in some cheese and crackers as well.
+Diet Pepsi for Ray
+Vodka Tonics for Closer
+Pasta Puttenesca for Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
+Baby Shrimp for Vera Drake (they look like little fetuses!)
+Wings for The Aviator
+Bread for The Passion of the Christ
+Peter Pan Peanut Butter and Scottish Three Berry Jam for Finding Neverland. Get it. Berry Jam. J.M. Barrie.
+Tangerines for Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
+Grapes for Maria Full of Grace
+The Incredibles Pez Dispensers
+Shrek 2 Gummy snacks.
+Lemon Meringue Pie for Million Dollar Baby

I'd also suggest something from McDonalds for Super Size Me.
All food will be served on Spider-Man 2 party plates.

I have those fun party poppers on hand for my guests to pop whenever someone they were rooting for wins. Of course, that leaves a lot up to chance. So if someone I love is just shown on TV, I may just pop one off for fun.

Anywho, I hope everyone has a fun Oscar night and at least one thing they were rooting for wins. Its only 2:15PM and I'm already buzzed from those Vodka Tonics.